How were your days back in high school? For me, it was 4 years of a hellish experience. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone else's business. I couldn't wait to bust out of that small town. As far as I was concerned, I was going to leave my small town and go out see the rest of the world without ever looking back. I disliked virtually everyone I knew. I never felt that I really fit into any particular click. And "clickish" it was.
For some odd reason I recently joined Classmates.com where you can find and contact old high school friends. I don't have any clue as to why I suddenly cared to be in contact with the very people that I was in a hurry to get away from back in high school. Anyway, several people contacted me and wanted to know what I had been up over the years. I was also strangely curious about their lives as well. Where had life taken them?
What I found was that I was comforted in emailing them or talking to them over the phone. I have to say, however, I couldn't help but feel some the same adolescent insecurities that I had back in the day. Was anyone interested in knowing where I was or what I have been up to? Would they just ignore me? Did they ever really like me?
Do we ever really get over what we experienced during our formative years? I'm still not sure. What was interesting was that the folks that reached to me were not the same people that I did hang out with. Nevertheless, I was happy to hear from them. There are those that I still wish not to have contact any longer because I can't get past the way that they treated others. But had they grown up? Are they the same?
I'd like to think that I have changed. In some ways, I feel that I am the same person. In some ways I feel that I don't even know or remember the person that I was. In any case, I do enjoy being in contact with those that I grew up with but I still can't bring myself to attend any reunions. I guess I feel that that would somehow be too traumatic. Why I would feel this way is beyond me.
