There a few people that always stress me out whenever we go out. They stress me out because I just know that when the bill arrives at the end of the evening, they always "come up short" when paying for the bill. I don't know how to handle these people other than to either 1) not associate with them an longer or 2) to pick up the whole tab to avoid the stress of figuring out what their share is (which I am likely to cover anyway).
I have male and female friends where it's always comfortable going out with because we just split the bill straight down the middle, and it's fair and easy. But what about those people who practically create a scene by saying "let's see...I had the burger, you had the steak, I drank martinis, you had the beer...blah, blah, blah. It's so frustrating and embarrassing to me that I much of the time just say "Here's my AMEX card, you can pay the next time we go out". But do they pay the next time? No. It's the same situation that plays out again with me covering the tab. I have had to drop a few "friends" along the way because I was going broke! This has also happened more than once with some family members as well. I hate it because I know that I am being suckered every time we have plans to go out.
Dating is another issue. Who pays? I always offer to pay but I have to tell you, the guy who allows me to pay on that first date never sees me again. The same goes for the guy who decides to go dutch. I understand that the rule is that the one who makes the date, pays for the date (at least in the U.S). But there is still this weird part of me that feels I should be paying. It's always uncomfortable for me when the check arrives and my date doesn't reach for the bill immediately. I feel like he may be sending me that signal that means "cough up some cash, babe". Unfortunately, if I had a few drinks, I always reach for the bill no matter who I am with! Then I hate myself - and them - the following morning.
I just don't get cheap people. All I know is that I can't stand to be in their company!! After all of these experiences with cheap people, I still don't know the best way to handle them
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10 comments:
I must really be old fashioned if I pay for dinner not only on the first date, but second, third, and the fourth date as well. Obviously, after the fourth date, we stay home and eat in.
Now I know some people will take that the wrong (or right way,) but no matter how you slice it, a home prepared (or cooked) meal goes a long way for my lady.
:)
As for "friends" who waste a lot of my time by trying to figure out who had the extra cheese on their macaroni (or pasta for those of you who just pay a little more for the samething,) I always get suckered into picking up the tab. But I guess I have the 'luxury' of writing it off. I then 'steal' a few pieces of expensive silverware from their cabinets later when they're too drunk to notice on my tab.
Just kidding!
Wanna buy some silverware?
You should handle them with a stick. Beat them over the head.
I once had a guy ask me if I was stingy when I didn't reach out for the bill. Suffice to say, I never spoke to him again. He's now dating a close friend and I don't even want to imagine what the state of her bank account is like at the end of the day.
i always thought that money should not be an issue among friends. who has the money pays it, and expects the same when he/she does not have money.
In the Netherlands means: we go American, everybody pay their own share. But most of the time everybody wants the pay the bill.
For me is these kind of 'discussions' embarrasing...
Btw, in Turkey most of the time, my Turkish friends insist on paying the bill. Comparing with them, Dutch are stingy. But in general, it is 'not done' to talk about money in the Netherlands. Never ask a Dutch how much money he or she makes...
And women, don't dare to pay for them..))
Metin,
If you are ever in the tri-state area, we can go out together and I'll pay the bill - if you order me a couple of drinks too many.
Idil,
Even beating these stingy bastards with a stick won't change their ways. But it's worth a shot!
Super Hero,
Is it really fair for the person who makes the most money at the dinner table to be responsible for the WHOLE bill all of the time? Some people I have come across NEVER seem to have money on them yet feel perfectly comfortable eating and drinking at the expense of others. It's annoying.
Hans,
I know that it's different in Turkey. Turks (in Turkey) fight to actually pay the bill. I have never seen that happen in the U.S
And I, like the Dutch, hate it when people have the nerve to ask "how much money do you make". Turks have no problem with asking that stupid question. I usually just say "I make enough to get by"
no, i dont mean that the one who has the most money always pays. actually it means that you can still enjoy a good night even if you dont have any money because there will/should be someone to pay for you, in exchange with the trust that you are going to pay for him if he doesnt have money in another occasion.
Now I'll drink to that!
And if you're ever in the Southern California area, I'll take you to the bar that has a wing named after me.
:)
touchy subject but I had my share of it. I refuse to go out with ppl like that even if it means to end the relation.
BTW, I think I will ask for a date to "Metin" :-))cause it is hard to find an old fashioned guy in NYC
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