As usual, I'm in a state of complete confusion about dating. More specifically, I have been asking myself lately if ethnicity makes any difference to me when it comes to romantic relationships. In many ways it would be easier to date someone who is Turkish, for obvious reasons. The familiarity of our culture would lessen the painstaking efforts I'd have to make to explain the Turkish way of life to a "foreigner". On the other hand, I find that the Turkish men that I meet are just too Turkish for me. What's a Turkish-American girl to do?
The non-Turks that I date find the Turkish thing to be exotic. They like that I am somewhat of a "foreigner" to them yet totally American in many other ways. The Turkish men that I meet - and there haven't been many - expect me to act more Turkish than I really am. Is any of this making any sense?
As I stated in a previous post, I thought that the answer to my problem would be solved by going on Turkish Personals. Surely I'd meet a Turkish-American like myself; someone who understands and appreciates both cultures. Or so I had thought But to my dismay, virtually every guy answered the questions on their profile in Turkish. And the ones that attempted to write in English had busted up English. Yet some of these guys identified themselves as being Turkish-American. They may have U.S. citizenship but they are not Americanized in the least.
The few Turkish-American men that I have met, I just wasn't attracted to. It's tough enough finding Mr. Right but when you throw 2 cultures into the mix, it seems like a formidable task. At this point, I'd be perfectly content with finding someone whose neuroses were compatible with mine.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Blogs That Don't Give Me a Headache
Blog Archive
-
▼
2007
(46)
-
▼
June
(20)
- My Silence Speaks Volumes
- Bulent's Email to Me
- A Change of Venue
- May I Vent?
- When Harry Met Sally
- Racism
- Bulent
- Another Try
- Reach Up and Touch the Sky
- Simple Minds
- Peter Pan Syndrome
- We Are Not Perfect. Admit it!!
- The Tangled Webs We Weave
- Manhattan
- What Vanity!
- Ageism
- Self-disclosure
- Stupid Cupid
- Panic Attacks and Chill Pills
- Jesus Loves You
-
▼
June
(20)
18 comments:
I share your sentiments exactly. It would be nice to, for once, meet an American girl who appreciates the Near East. So far, the Turkish-American girls I meet are more Turkish than their counterparts in Turkey. Except that those in Turkey would never be able to be 'Americanized' fast enough for me.
As Leon Hess, the owner of the New York Jets once said (when he was 92,) hurry up and win this championship thingie. I ain't got too much time.
Don't want to sound like a matchmaker that I am, have you tried exploring U.S. born (but Turkish bred) and still faithful (to their culture I meant) guys? or even Persian?
I thought, you had your arrows pointed at Israelian men?..))
Btw, the Dutch I met abroad, are more Dutch than the ones in the Netherlands, sorry, Holland..))
Maybe they feel like it's their duty to be more Turkified than the Turks in Turkey. It's rather silly. Why does everyone forget to be themselves? Have you ever tried to stop looking? Apparently that's how it all happens. You stop looking and suddenly prince charming breaks down your door and kidnapps you.
Metin,
I was on Turkish Personals with hopes that I would find a Turkish guy who was raised in the U.S., and let me just say that there weren't very many truly "Turkish-Americans" on the site.
I may have to broaden my search to the entire Middle East.
Idil,
Like Metin said in his comment, time is a tickin' away!
But I have heard before what you say about Mr. Right coming into my life when I'm not looking.
And it is weird how the Turks in America are really, really too Turkish. What's up with that?
Hans,
I guess I have go on Jewish Singles.com At least I'll know that he is not likely to cheat on me!!
wish you success. but not all Israelians are Jewish..))
Try jdate!
but . . . stay clear of israelis (and arabs)
but american or 'white' jews, as well as persian jews are ok.
i sound like a stereotypical racist when it comes to dating. but the truth is the truth.
maybe we should start a dating service for this niche of ours. we can even call it the 'desperately seeking mr and mrs not so perfect but faithful to drinking tea for breakfast while not reading the newspaper club.'
The reason why Turks in the US almost seem to force themselves to stay much more Turkish is the same reason any minority holds on to tradition and heritage; it's the fear that they will lose it or otherwise make it fade into the background.
Of course, I can't stand that protectionist attitude either because I can't stand most traditions, especially the ones lacking logic and reason (like not eating any pork but breaking every other 'law' on a daily basis). Just ludicrous, I tell ya.
Anyhow, my dearest of all the anonymous people I've met, my advice for your dating dilemma is this: Don't waste your time looking for someone special. In this day and age, good friendships last longer than relationships. Given this fact, which one of your options is really worth searching for continuously?
Ergo, make as many friends as you can and be merry. Your the-clock-is-ticking mentality will only force you to try to make something work that it isn't really there. Expectations will be greater than actual outcomes. (hmmm, that sounds like a fortune cookie)
But don't take my word for it, just look around you.
Peace,
Infidelcim,
You may right about the friendship thing lasting longer than any romantic relationship. But at some point, don't you wish to parnter up with someone?
This casual dating thing I have been doing is getting really old - and so am I!
Metin,
I like your idea. It can't just be you and me who is facing this dilemma.
Metin and AY: you are both American Turks, Turkish Americans, Turks in America, Americanized Turks, or what ever. But the both of you are single: and it takes only a 4.5 hrs flight to meet each other...
Only a suggestion..)))
He, I am a Turkified Dutch as mst of my friends and clients are saying...I love to match..)))
Hans, Are you secretly working for my parents? They put you up to this, didn't they?
You really are becoming Turkish!!
AY: dear,
Yes, I work for the Cia, Mosad, ANBD, and your parents...))
But they don't pay me that much, so I try to keep a low profile in your case..))
Metin is into Paris Hilton. But her nerves are not that tough as yours. So, go for him..))
South California brain wash your mind, you see everything in Pink...
And how nice, your blog is Pink...))
Metin, go for it before she gets an Israelian..))
Yes, I am Turkified, and thats not a shame. In fact, I am 'Made in Italy'....)) Hooked up with Turks..))
I saw Paris tonight at the MTV Movie Awards at Gibson Amphitheatre. She's definitely nervous about going to jail, but made no reference to my offer about house arrest. But seriously, the host of the show Sarah Silverman narrated a tasteless joke about Paris in jail. Not impressed.
As for AY, who knows. I am all for 'arrnaged' blog-relations, so long as she is not some guy from OshKosh.
:)
can't even spell . . .
i meant 'arranged' not deranged . . .
Dear Anonymously Yours, I think you are the ex wife to an ex boyfriend of mine, he is Turkish, now lives in Connecticut. I am also Turkish. Anyway, I wonder if it is you that I have heard all the stories about?!!!! Hmmmm! Well, love your endearing writings. So honest and quite refreshing... keep writing and good luck! As for dating, oh as a Turkish girl in USA, I, too, have a slew of stories to share!
ooohhh.... and I also did the whole TurkishPersonals.com thing....met two flakes and one sorta good guy who has since dissappeared, nothing really happened. It is really hard to find an "Americanized" Turkish man, or a "Turkicizied" American man...In the past year and a half, I have dated 2 Israelis, 1 Arabs, 1 Afghani, several Anglo American Christians, 1200 Turks, 3 Persians, 1 Cypriot, 1 Spaniard, 1 Colombian, 1 Bosnian, 1 Italian Stallion and a list of others whom are not coming to mind at the moment, same story different passport!
write me back, lets keep in touch: asli.omur@gmail.com
Hi Asli,
My ex is American so I don't believe that there is that connection.
And please feel free to share your stories. Maybe this way I won't feel so alone.
Glad to hear you left Turkish Personals. It's Loserville!!
hey I just found your website and could not stop reading your earlier posts.
I like the way you write and the comments section is even more interesting :-))
find a turkish-american guy in NY??? well GL with that...
Thanks. God knows I'll need it!
Post a Comment