My Silence Speaks Volumes

I made the decision not to respond to Bulent's email. I know that if I call him or write him, I am likely to tell him off. His email, though seemingly from "the heart", is meaningless to me. The damage was done and I saw enough of his true character to turn me off. What more do I really need to witness? And, based on what he wrote, he already knows that he is an asshole. The apology is worthless. I mentioned in a previous post that I am generally an unforgiving individual. I can hold a grudge forever. This doesn't mean that I won't be polite with people who piss me off. It just means that in the back of mind what keeps playing is what the person has said or done to me that has me disliking them. That reminder never leaves me. I am fully aware that this may not be the healthiest way of living. But it works for me. It's all about self-preservation. I generally try to avoid confrontation. But when put in that position, and once I open my mouth, I can give a person the verbal lashing of a lifetime. And I know this about myself. I am a pressure cooker. Therefore, when I am pissed (I mean really pissed) I actually say nothing at all. I just disconnect and pull the plug immediately. Most people learn this about me over time. Telling people off doesn't make me feel any better. And I find that it is a waste of time. I simply choose to ignore them and let them stew in their own crap. It's just so much more satisfying.