Okay, so I have somewhat given up hope that I'll meet Mr. Right on Turkish Personals. I still have my profile up even though it appears that meeting a Turkish-AMERICAN isn't going to be as easy as I thought. We live in America. So, I thought "how hard could it possibly be?". Well, folks, it's hard. Very hard. More than half of those who respond do so in Turkish. I get a headache from just reading their profile since I read Turkish at about the 3rd grade level. So I have decided that ethnicity may not be that important to me after all. I am now on an American online dating service. I have spent just about my entire adult life dating or being in relationships with Americans. And I just "get" them better than I do Turkish men. Maybe I am more American than I am Turkish. Hell, I don't know. At least I understand what they are writing on their profiles. What's more, there is a far larger pool to select from to find someone with whom I would be compatible. Okay, so they don't know what manti is. Should that really matter? |
Thursday, June 28, 2007
A Change of Venue
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5 comments:
It sounds like you need to stop trying to fit a square peg into a round . . .
Maybe you are right, and you shouldn't specify who you're looking for, at least in the ethnicity category. And in a general online environment, such as match.com or others, you are bound to find someone who just happens to be American and also Turkish.
This happened to me by accident in a business dealing. I was trying to help someone with a sponsorship, come to find out her nickname was Turkish, even though she was using her 'American' name. Once she discovered my name is Metin, she asked me if I was Turkish. And the rest is . . .
Needless to say, she's already 'happily' married (to someone else,) but doesn't mind exploring her options when it comes to extracurricular activities on the side. So typical.
I am now on eHarmony where your "matches" are sent to you daily. They do all of the work for me which is good thing because I am too darn tired and lazy to read a million profiles. Plus, I can blame them when things don't work out as I had hoped.
Try dating a Turkish man and you'll see what's wrong :)
I met my wife on Turkish Personals. She's from the UK and I'm from Canada. We're both of Turkish descent, but we both grew up outside of Turkey. Meeting someone Turkish was a prefernece but not a priority. Both of us previously had more relationships with non-Turks, natural given where we lived. And we both wanted a serious relationship leading to marriage.
The following falls under the "duh" category. Be patient - this is a big investment. Ulimately, it comes down to meeting the right person. Chemistry is important but don't forget the need for similar views on money, family/children, religion/spirituality, life goals/career.
In the Turkish context, anything you feel strongly about - your religion, your cultural or historical heritage - needs to be respected by this other person, Turk or not. The less strongly you feel about these things, the easier it'll be to find someone (but a shame in my opinion if it's not important in terms of your children's inheritance). That's a challenge for some non-Turkish people but not all.
I know you're not there yet, but when you are, keep in mind the book "Hard Questions" by Susan Piver.
Good luck:)
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