Jesus Loves You

Here's my confessional: I once pretended to be deeply interested in Christianity to get closer to a born again Christian I once met. Let me start from the beginning. I went to my gym one day and learned that the hot abs instructor was Turkish. This guy was just smoking hot! And every gal at the gym was after his Turkish ass. When he found out that I was Turkish, he took an interest in me. We started hanging out together and I was in Heaven (if there is one).

What I quickly learned was that he had converted to Christianity and wanted for me to join his little cult. He would constantly bring up Jesus and talked about how my not accepting Jesus as my Lord and personal savior was the reason for any discontent in my life. But I thought "hey, I can act like I give a crap if that means being with him"

Yup, pretty soon I was going to church with him where I looked like a fish out of water. I couldn't follow which page they were on in the Bible during the sermons, but it didn't matter; I was sitting next to this hot guy. Shallow would be the perfect word to describe me. As I sat in a house of worship with him, my mind was having the most impure thoughts you can possibly imagine.

It wasn't long before I realized that his sole interest in me was to convert me. After awhile, I got tired of hearing about how much Jesus loves me. He also went onto to say that he could never be with a woman who did not not accept Jesus as the son of God. This "relationship" was going nowhere fast. I needed to end it and tell him that I would not convert AND that I do not subscribe to any organized religion.

What was interesting was the "social gathering" they would have after mass. I felt like a spy trying to get into the psyche of the members of this congregation and here's what I learned. Every person who "found" Jesus had the most horrendous life stories just before they became born again, including the hot Turkish personal trainer. These people were: sexually/physically abused as children, had addicts for parents or were addicts themselves, had unhealthy relationships, or simply felt lost...it just went on and on. I felt terribly sorry for each person that told me their personal story which lead to their finding Jesus. I had a lot of crap going on in my life at the time and was in need of a miracle myself. I understood how anyone can easily get sucked into any organized religion or cult if they are vulnerable and fragile enough. None of these people had a strong support system in place. That was the common thread. Now they felt like they were part of a "family".

I did not become a born again but I did feel awfully guilty for pretending to have an interest in what these people held so near and dear to their hearts. As for my Turkish personal trainer, he barely acknowledges me now. I can't say that I blame especially since I said a lot to challenge his beliefs. Okay, so it didn't work out but I sure learned a lot about those who are religious. I remain a deeply spiritual soul, but can't get on board with this religion thing.